Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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