On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
