Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
