my mouth tastes like poor choices
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
