you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he fucked my hip out of place.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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