may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
