Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize