I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
