This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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