Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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