He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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