very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
