Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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