I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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