hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
