take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
