I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
