i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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