i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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