don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
