he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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