Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize