Non-Jews are for practice
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize