I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
