stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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