And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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