we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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