That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
