hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
