I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
