I showed him my bush... on skype.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
