i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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