I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
