He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
