What a fucking waste of an outfit
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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