after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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