I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
