I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
