I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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