So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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