I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
