if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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