I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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