Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
