Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
