called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
