i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
