i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize