So drunk its hurt
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
