I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
