He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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