Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
