Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just had sex bonerless
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
