Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
