I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Jerry, you need to find god
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
