WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
