Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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