Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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