absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
